I’ve decided to write a letter to myself. Well, to my future self. I’m going to queue it so it’ll be posted a year from today. Then, i can look back and laugh at what i used to be. Plus,i have really bad memory so I’ll be all surprised and stuff when i see it. lol. ANYWHOO, here it goessss. (P.s this is more for me than anything, even though you guys are not gunna see it for a while if i do this right..)
Dear Butthead of the future,
Greetings, salutations. How’s life? Good, I hope. Remember me? the stupid you from a year ago? yea, that’s the one. Anywhoo, I can only hope that things have gotten better for you. Because, things have just started taking a turn for the good in my life at the moment and I’m pretty sure they can only get better form here. Life is just starting to feel so.. right. I’m feeling happy for the first time in a long time. I’m learning to stop myself from pushing people away, because as it turns out, the ones i push away could end up being the ones I need the most in my life. Speaking of which, hopefully you’ve gotten the strength to forgive Trey(not saying i need him in my life. Cause i don’t). But, do you still walk around with the pain that he caused you draped across your shoulders, allowing it to hold you down. Do you still look at him and see what he was, and ignore what he has become? I hope not. Please tell me he dosage still get to you. Tell me you’ve chosen forgiveness, because right now i don’t think it will ever be possible. I don’t have that strength right now. But hopefully somewhere along the line i found it. And i have faith in you that you did. Because although there is are still some trails, I’ve been blessed with the chance to welcome some wonderful people into my life this year. Angel, Jasmine, and.. Marvin. Sigh, right now.. I’m not sure what I’m feeling about this guy. All i know is he’s something really special. He’s got something that I’ve never seen in anyone else, but i have no clue what it is. We’ve become so close so quickly and i think he’s starting to know me more than I’d like. But i do know that i don’t want it to stop. I thought i did. I tried to end it (what ever it is) but i couldn’t. He does something to me, and i love every single second of it. I hope you didn’t do something stupid like let him go. I mean, unless he like wanted to go, cause i don’t want you to like kidnap him and hold him hostage under you bed.. cause that would be weird. 0_o. ..*blinks 7 times* Moving on, what was it like meeting him, you lucky doodoohead, How’d it go? How are you guys now? I mean I’ve thought about what it’s gonna be like, but you actually got to experience it. Even though technically you are me..ehh. moving on. Hopefully nothing went wrong. heyy, Did you end up staying with daddy, or did you go back to mom. Cause right now this decision is driving me crazy. In my heart i feel like I’m going to want too stay, but there are so many people who need me down here, so much i need to do. It would be so selfish of me to say. Plus, how could i live without my other half? I mean i talked to her about it and she gave me a note i wrote her years ago. I cant believe she still had it. Do you remember the one i mean? It said “Blood could not makes us any closer, and nothing will ever break us apart. For no matter where we go in life, we’ll be together holding half of the others heart.” But, right now, I doubt i could survive without the other half of my heart. My soul sister. And what about your other sister?! How’s the baby. I bet he’s a little cutie. He’s gunna be turning 1 year old some time around now, right? I can’t wait to meet him. Gah, I just love babies. How’s Naomi dealing with the competition ?Cause you know how she hates other babies tryna step to her “dweauh”. Lol, I love that little girl so much. She’s snoring right next to me as I type, Hopefully she grew outta that, cause these snores are deadly. Tell her future self i said “WOAHHH” k, thanks. Anyway, this letter is getting long and i have nothing left to say soo, See you in a year, loser ! =D
-Love,
That creepy girl sitting in the dark writing a letter to her-self
